i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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