Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
