There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize