Just fell off a train. Bad.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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