so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
