we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
