garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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