Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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