i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
