I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
