the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
