What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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