were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize