O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
