I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
