im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
