I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
