If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
