i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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