Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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