don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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