I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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