After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
