Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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