Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
this will be a night to untag.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
