SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
