i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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