I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
