if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
