the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
