Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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