yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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