Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
