I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
pray to the hookup gods
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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