Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
