I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Randomize
