It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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