Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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