Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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