I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
