I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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