I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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