I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
