so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
