Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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