That's intense
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
