I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
