So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
