Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
