how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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