2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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