Betty ford says i'm here all night
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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