i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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