i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
false alarm, still single
Randomize
