Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
