I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
