After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
